The Pink Panther Rash Guard

BEHOLD! From the midnight jungle creeps a beast so stylish that the stars dim themselves out of jealousy. Spotted in shadow, black on black like a leopard who joined a secret society, it slinks onto the mats with a pink badge glowing on its chest like a warning label from the gods. Turn around, and the back roars in blush-pink thunder. Your opponent sees spots. Then he sees stars. Then he sees the ceiling. It purrs when training partners clinch you. Wear it and become the apex menace of open mat, a velvet nightmare with claws in every grip. You're in Terrible Hands.